|
[ | |
February 12, 2009
| | ] |
yesterday was poppie's birthday. it didn't really effect me during the day until i tried to fall asleep last night and i was saying goodnight to him like i always do. it's almost 4 years that he's gone, and it really hasn't gotten any easier.
i got a massage yesterday (one awesome aspect of the car accident/my case that i hopefully get a settlement for). it felt amazinggggg, although she worked out some knots in my back and told me to ice them later on when i got home. later on the evening they started to bother me, and then i realized our ice trays got lost in the move so i couldn't make any ice to ice them...booo. someone remind me to pick up some new ice trays at some point. either way i can't wait till my next two massages next week.
i have chiro/PT today, tomorrow and saturday. i really hate going, but if i don't i won't have a case. boo. if i didn't have to go three times a week it wouldn't be so bad.
i can't wait for valentines day. andrew and i getting foot massages in the afternoon then he's taking me to this nice italian restaurant for dinner. he said he wants to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie after dinner too, so that should be a nice and romantic day/night :) what are everyone else's valentines plans?
i have until 12:50 till my next class starts, but i'm running out of things to write. more later...
|
|
|
|
[ | |
January 9, 2009
| | ] |
it's been a long, long time since i've written in here. it actually kind of depresses me to read most of my entries, because they are, well, depressing. so much has changed since i've written those entries. i can hardly believe it's 2009 already. when did i start this journal? it feels like decades ago.
i didn't write about it the first time, but i'm back on disability from brookhaven. for those of you who don't know, i was a passenger in a car accident this summer and the result was a disc herniation and a torn meniscus. the pain that i'm constantly in sucks big time, but i guess i'm learning to deal with it.
i've been in the new apartment (with andrew and joe) for a month now and i really like it here. my only complaint is the tenants upstairs can be really loud at times, but you can't have everything you want i guess.
i'm going to florida with my family on sunday. i'm really excited actually. i need a vacation. i also feel like i need to go visit poppie's moseleum. it's been almost four years since he passed away and it really hasn't gotten any easier. he's still all around me though, i can feel it.
i'm going to try to write in here more, it's comforting in a way. there's so much i can talk about, but then again, how much do i really want to reveal to everyone?
|
|
|
|
[ | |
May 29, 2008
| | ] |
today after cuddling with the boyfriend for awhile before he left for work, i showered, ate and went to tan with katiebear for a bit..after tanning we walked with spirit (jen's german sheperd) down through avalon to the green and played frisbee and did cartwheels. lol i felt really good about getting out and walking, taking pictures (i HAVE to upload them soon) and having fun with katiebear.
after we walked back, jen came home from work and we both hung out with her a bit. i came home a little after, worked out, took another and then cleaned the apartment a bit. i have to finish cleaning this weekend. i'm going to cabo on wednesday (till the following wednesday) and andrew promised me if i left the apartment nice before i left, he would keep it nice for when i came back.
i'm not really sure why it's been so easy for me to cry lately, but in a way it helps me get some things out i guess.
overall though i had a really good day. i'm going to bed soon (i have work at 7 booo) and andrew is out with some friends right now..i find it a lot easier to sleep when he's home, but i'm not one to tell him what to do lol.
oh! i didnt mention, but i got a job offer from st. charles hospital. right now im a transporter for the radiology dept at brookhaven hospital. the people are cool (some of them suck but the majority of them are ok in my book) but its 40 mins or so away from my house and gas prices suck :( st. charles offered to pay me 14.44 an hour (i make 12.36 at the brook) and it's five minutes from my apartment. they only have sundays open right now but once i get my foot in the door i told them i'd love to pick up more shifts and see what happens :) i'm excited for that.
im watching a little tv, then i'm gonna read and hit the sheets.
|
|
|
|
[ | |
May 27, 2008
| | ] |
once again i couldnt sleep last night but i cuddled with andrew all night so in a way it was ok. this morning i felt like i needed a good cry, so i read some past lj entries, but the one that hit me the hardest was the one about poppie passing :( i still miss him more than ever and i still tell him i love him and goodnight EVERY NIGHT before i go to sleep.
some people and my parents especially don't understand why i'm still depressed as of late. my dad says i have everything i could want; family, friends, a boyfriend (whom i looove), im in college. still something is missing for me. why is that when i have everything i still feel like there should be more?
i just need to search deep within myself. i need to find what is causing all this, and what i can do to get out of it. i think writing in here again is helping me, even if no one is really reading it (thanks for the comment on my last entry, meg).
i was looking through katie's old livejournal last night too. i saw all these pictures of some old friends (and some of people we're still friends with) and i had to sit and stare at a few of them just to remember the good times with them because we've gone our separate ways now. it's sad, really, but what can i do?
im waiting for katie to call me cos we're supposed to go for a jog and drink green tea together. then tonight i'm going to a mets game with her and charlie. im a yankees fan, but i figure, why not have some fun with my friends? i think during the day im going shopping with my mom, but im not sure yet.
well, i must be off. im going back to cuddling..
|
|
|
|
[ | |
May 26, 2008
| | ] |
i havent written here in a LOOOONG time but i feel it'll be good for me right now.
when im alone i think way too much. i find everything that's wrong with me, or what could be wrong...sometimes i feel like im not good enough for the love of my life. i'm trying really hard not to cut anymore. looking at my scars now, even though they all have meaning behind them, i don't want to do it anymore. andrew and i had a heated discussion about it, and he put things back into persceptive for me, i went back on medication kind of against my will (although deep down i know i need it)..and im trying to get myself on track.
ive been having the worst time sleeping lately. im constantly waking up at strange hours and im constantly tired. its really getting to me. luckily today i got out of the house and i went down port with katie, charlie and franny. we got toooooons of seafood and three pitchers of beer (at the steam room) and just chilled out. i love hanging out with them. epsecially katie.
well, im alone again listening to music..im going to try to sleep soon and see if i can STAY asleep. boo :( i doubt anyone is actually reading this, so i guess i'm just writing for myself.
|
|
|
|
[ | |
July 4, 2005
| | ] |
it's been forever since i've updated.
it's been ahwile since i've been really happy too.
i'm starting to think i don't know how to deal with things like a normal teenager.
although i had the greatest day so far. tubing and tanning and now partying and watching fireworks with the besties.
happy fourth everyone. make it one to remember.
|
|
|
|
[ | |
April 20, 2004
| | ] |
comment to be added...and maybe i'll add you back.
i'm pretty picky about my friends list nowadays.
|
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
thatgirlmandy's journal
